I am constantly on the internet. I am pretty sure I am not unique in this. I woke up this morning put on my running shorts and sat down in front of my laptop and started watching Nerdist bowling videos, I made it through three episodes of that and then watched a montage of floating images of a woman in Russia who looks like a real Barbie doll and then somehow two hours later found myself watching a video called “Tsunami- Caught on Camera.”
It was pretty sad.
The title is horrible and I imagine all the people being interviewed survived, haven’t finished watching it yet so I may be in for a surprise, but I am sure I witnessed a lot of death peripherally recorded by those cameras. Some of the scariest non 9/11 stuff I have ever watched… that I can think of right now.
I never made it the end of the collection of 9 minute videos, because my wife woke up and asked me two questions, “Did I run, and did I write.”
I said, “No,” to the first question and she laughed and patted my belly.
It was so easy not to run actually. I just fell into an internet induced trance. There is no time limit though and maybe sometime today I will go for a jog.
Though I doubt it.
Being lazy sucks.
When I told her, “No, not yet,” to the writing inquiry she glared at me and demanded, “Write.”
“I will,” I told her.
And she said “Now.”
I laughed, and said, “I will, eventually,” but knew I wouldn’t get any more tsunami video watched until I did.
Sitting in front of the computer passively watching Youtube video is so much different than actually trying to come up with a concept to write about.
So I concentrated on reading Igoogle articles.
I noticed a cosmetic company's stock went up 30% and Nokia jumped 3.1%
I find that interesting, that a cordless charging invention would only help a company’s stock by 3 points but an age defying makeup product would make a company 30 points richer.
I am going to share a secret, looking young when you are old is a fake attempt to live forever.
Nobody is going to say, “Wow I can’t believe she was 80.” when a user of those products dies.
I claim False advertising!
Speaking of which, brings me to the point of all this rambling.
From there I read about what I would be watching this evening at the DNC.
Julian Castro the major of San Antonio is supposed to be the big draw. CNN said he was a Latino, which made him male, but I swear couldn’t Julian be a girl’s name also? I thought about it and even asked my wife, who said, “I have never met a girl named Julian.”
Still have my doubts whether Julian is a hermaphroditic name or not. Maybe I will never know. I sure do wish I had a resource to search for answers to questions like this.
What an invention that would be.
Now finally the point.
CNN also told me Obama is so close to Romney in the polls that there is no clear way to guess what is going to happen in November.
This boggles my mind; my mind is as boggled as it was in 2004 when I heard people were going to reelect George Bush Jr. My mind is so boggled that I had to come up with 2 excuses as to why the polls are so close.
1:
The numbers are only being reported as close so that people will pay closer attention and watch the news more. It’s a ploy for ratings.
Going the route of conspiracy right off that bat makes me nervous for my sanity. So I quickly came up with, 2:
I worked a lot of phone jobs. I sold stuff, and asked for donations, and conducted polls, answered questions, basically made very little money doing a bunch of hate your life type work.
The work sucks, but I learned something, people don’t like to be called. People don’t like to be called to the point that they are rude and hang up on real living breathing American people attempting to make a living and pay rent. I could have been a brother, cousin, classmate, or stranger on the street and I was told to die. I was told to find a real job. I was told to do things to myself that I am positive could get me locked up in Utah.
Disease was wished upon my being all because a machine dialed a number and someone on the other end picked up.
So…. how the hell are, as the Rasmussen report FAQ section states, digitally recorded questions fed through an automated dialer, actually getting valid results.
Who the fuck is answering these poll questions?
I will answer myself and say, old people and rednecks who live in the sticks.
I am biased.
I like Obama.
I think four more years with him as president might make our sinking ship of a country sink a bit slower. I think with this Nobel Peace Prize winner at our helm we might be able to figure out a way to cooperate with other countries around the globe and figure out a way to right what has gone so terribly wrong.
But with my cellphone having self no one is asking me what I think, and even if I answered the call, which most likely I would not, I would probably tell machine or person to go fuck themselves.
No comments:
Post a Comment