I was waiting at a café next door to Alesandro’s World Famous Hostel, and that was what it was really called. If I could make up a name it would not be that. Just Alesandro’s Hostel would be fine, but to add the world famous was just about the same as calling it ‘Douche Bag’s place to sleep and shower.’
Luca was a little man who looked like he could lift a weight or two if asked. He was a not a Roman. His family came from Calabria. He called himself the Calabrese Muscle. He rode around Termini on a black scooter and loved videos of dirt bikes. Not dirt bikes being ridden just watching people rev engines with bikes on blocks, sometimes without tires.
It was the black scooter that led me to him. The day before I had found an Ad in the one American/English Newspaper in Rome asking for a front desk receptionist person at not the famous Hostel Alesandro’s Down Town. I answered it though if looking at a map its more cross town then down town.
Before finding that paper I had walked all around Termini going into every hotel and asking if they needed an English speaking reception person. It is surprising how few romans speak English I am not even sure if I was understood most of the time.
When I fist got in Rome I had no where to stay. Someone suggested I stay at a hostel near the station, which makes sense, why wouldn’t there be a hostel by the station, but I could not find it, so instead I spent one hundred Euro’s and stayed in the most craptastic hotel in Rome.
Noise doesn’t typically bother me, but this place I swear to Christ was under some kind of dish washing factory. All night it was a rush of water and the clatter of plates. I wish I had been able to figure out what it was.
Through the noise I was so tired though I crashed immediately.
The next day I watched Italian TV hoping to catch nudity and left at checkout. It was three days after I left the hotel When I found the job opportunity at Alesendros.
Luca said, “Tomorrow we meet, you come back and we talk, yes?”
I asked, “Here?” I had brought a button down shirt with me to Europe but no iron so I was wearing a grey pilling fleece, over a T-shirt, worse it was June. No matter how crazy I looked I was going to get this job.
“Sure, sure,” he said starting to walk out of the dining room we had our interview in.
“What time?” I called after him.
“Whenever I will be here around ten in the morning.”
I showed up at ten and no Luca. The gorgeous Hungarian at the desk said he was probably at the other hostel. Look for a black Scooter with a red crest like this, and she drew the symbol for the Reggina football club and a little football inside it. I asked where it was and she drew a circle around a building on the other side of the train station. She used one of the cartoon maps I was seeing all over Rome. Maps like I would have seen at Disney World or Busch Gardens.
Then she smiled and no matter what else happened that day I felt like I would be happy the rest of my life.
I am surprised there was no admission cost to enter Rome itself minus the rides I was starting to feel like I was in a theme park.
One thing I will say, or, suggest if you want to tour the Forum’s or make it down and see Pompei and have absolutely no money, wait for a tour group to walk through the ticket taking area. I saw both for free and have not suffered one moment of guilt since.
I did try this tactic at the Coliseum, it didn’t fly, that structure is roped off tight as a drum, though playing an ignorant tourist did not help me in there it did get me out of going to jail in Naples, got me drunk on the Amalfi coast and earned me a case of ring worm.
Armed with my map, and the Hungarian girls smile, I took off walking in the direction of the World Famous Hostel.
When I arrived I walked in and was confronted by another Hungarian.
I asked, ‘is Luca available, I have an interview with him.
” This Hungarian, as it would turn out later was the exboyfriend of the pretty one at the other hostel and was soon to be fired, but I knew none of this, he said, “I do not know who Luca is or what you want. Good day.”
My mouth dropped open. My image of the theme park Roma disappeared.
My second though was if I hit him I would not be getting any job at these hostels so I didn’t. But holy shit I would have been happy to dig this gentleman’s teeth from out of my knuckles.
Instead I thanked him, looking him in the eyes and punched him with my brain. It wasn’t as satisfying and his demeanor stayed bitchy.
I left, spotted the black scooter parked on the sidewalk with the little red crest and soccer ball.
He at least was here.
So I sat at the café next door and drank a bottle of sparkling water and waited for my target to emerge and be confronted.
“What don’t you do in Rome?” I asked when he came out.
“Drink water outside at a café. We eat at the café. We live and eat and drink ~vino~ Come with me, I show you where be you work.”
I wish I could have skull fucked the Hungarian as I passed him with Luca, but the little shit never even looked up.
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